Sometimes I wake up and I don't feel like a hippie at all. I just wanna kill, goddammit. I want bacon and eggs and a river of hot blood for breakfast. This is something that chicks are never gonna get. Cuz it's my balls that make me feel that way. And chicks don't have balls. Chicks are never gonna get the gun thing, either. Shit, I can eat salad til the tofu crawls home, and talk about cooking and knitting til I'm blue in the balls...but that doesn't make my balls magically disappear now, does it? So ladies, please try to understand that GUNS AND MOTORCYCLES ARE THE RESULT OF BALL ENERGY, and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it, except maybe shave my balls. And for Christ's sake serve me a steak, will ya? A salad isn't food, it's grass with sauce on top!
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