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Fer fuck sake. I had today's blog entry 80% complete and I somehow hit delete and lost the entire fucking thing. That really hurts. So, Take Two:
The eternal question: How many times can a man crap in one day?
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I moved. Been busting ass to install a food farm ASAP in time for this Spring's growth spurt. To date I've planted/transplanted/installed/etc.: a Meyer lemon, a limequat & a self-pollinating almond (all dwarf) in 1/2 wine barrels. 4 early-bird tomatoes in 2 earth boxes. A Mandarin orange & 2 blueberries in other containers. Also: a San Pedro cactus, White sage, lavender & aloe in ceramic pots. Still to fill: 4 more 1/2 wine barrels (an apple, a vertical potato patch & kitchen veggies), 1 more earth box (more tomatoes) & 3 wall-mounted hanging window boxes (strawberries). Can't have chickens here cuz it's a co-op & there are HOA rules, but I plan to sneak some quail in under the radar, for their eggs. Below is a photo, several days out-of-date, of the food corner of my yard. This will be a compact but highly productive food farm, as I want to use the rest of my yard for a shed workshop & summer fucking.
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Below, a Spetsnaz fighting shovel shown next to a regular trowel for size comparison. I have sworn by this shovel for years. Designed to be thrown and used in combat, it also functions as a trowel, a spade, a hatchet, and a transfer shovel. I use mine every day in my yard, and when I'm done with it I fling it into the ground, where it sticks. You can sharpen the four edges, too. I've thrown this little bitch dozens of times and it is supremely satisfying to see it stick in a redwood round from 10 feet. It's WAY more effective than a tomahawk, too - vastly more blade area for vastly more damage and sticking power. It can dig a hole, move dirt, split kindling, chop off an offending root, or cut off Charlie's head. These things cost between 15 and 20 dollars on the internet. Get one today and keep it in your garden shed or your truck box.
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Are you the kind of guy that gets irked when there are cracks in the backyard fence and gate that allow strangers to catch a glimpse of your bug-in pad? Of course you are. All Hippie Survivalists are. Well, you can chill the fuck out, because I have come up with an ingenious solution to this vexation. You just staple an inner tube the length of the offending crack. It's effective and virtually free. Below are photos of a vexing crack, and then the solution (on a different vexing crack):
Hint: On the hinge-side of the gate, staple the inner tube to both sides, as it will bend inward when the gate is opened (left). On the latch-side of the gate, staple the inner tube to the gate only (right). This works!
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Hello, little black owl! Would you like a bowl of milk?
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Methinks the 20 gauge Howdah hunter and the customized 12 gauge Mossberg 590A1 Mariner make a fine CQB combo. Yes, the Howdah takes time to re-load, but it can bust 2 balls into Charlie's face at point blank, no? And the Mossberg has limited range, but we ARE talking CQB, aren't we? Ka-chink, BOOM, ka-chink, BOOM, ka-chink, BOOM, ka-chink, BOOM, ka-chink, BOOM, ka-chink, BOOM! When TSHTF, my CQB shottie combo will surely fill the emotional void left in my white psyche by the collapse of the entire Western paradigm and the loss of all that has ever been dear to me.
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Mark my words: Two movements will go mainstream and become worldwide in the 21st Century: Environmentalism and Survivalism. They both emerged in the 70s and mark the dawn of a new, post-modern era. They will become increasingly important movements as time progresses and society and nature disintegrate into anarchic, polluted chaos.
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Not long ago I had a large-ish reserve of collapse-proof investments that gave me more than a little comfort when I contemplated the end of Western civilization. Now that reserve is gone, replaced by an urban farmstead and a monthly mortgage payment. I may have less monetary security now, but I have more peace-of-mind. I no longer worry like I used to. This adventure either works out or it doesn't, but either way I give it my best. Sometimes you just have to go where life, and your heart, point you. Amen.
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My new place is beautiful. It's a cottage that was built in 1941. Morning light streams into it, and at sunset the interior glows. The light and air outside are infinitely better than my last home. The cottage opens into a beautiful backyard that has a hardwood deck and an 8x10 laundry/storage room. I'm gonna like it here.
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