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I like to think outside the box, and I'm pretty sure it's time we re-assessed the concept of dieting. What I propose is a book called Nothing Left to Poop, which examines dieting from the rear end, so-to-speak. Instead of counting the calories that go into our open upper orifice, this book studies the size, content and frequency of our poop. It correlates poop and weight-loss. Because, I'll tell you, I've been dieting for the last week, and I've noticed that I'm simply pooping less. I mean, I still poop once a day, but I poop LESS, once a day. My theory is that if I perfect my diet to a T, I will have virtually nothing left to poop, because my body will absorb almost all the nutrition I put into it. A bit of roughage is all that will remain in my ejectum. So, yeah. Maybe I will go eat a little something now. Feeling light-headed, don't you know!
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