The Hopi Prophecies

"This is the First Sign: We are told of the coming of the white-skinned men, like Pahana, but not living like Pahana -- men who took the land that was not theirs. And, men who struck their enemies with thunder."

"This is the Second Sign: Our lands will see the coming of spinning wheels filled with voices. In his youth, my father saw this prophecy come true with his eyes -- the white men bringing their families in wagons across the prairies."

"This is the Third Sign: A strange beast like a buffalo but with great long horns, will overrun the land in large numbers. These White Feather saw with his eyes -- the coming of the white men's cattle."

"This is the Fourth Sign: The land will be crossed by snakes of iron."

"This is the Fifth Sign: The land shall be criss-crossed by a giant spider's web."

"This is the Sixth sign: The land shall be criss-crossed with rivers of stone that make pictures in the sun."

"This is the Seventh Sign: You will hear of the sea turning black, and many living things dying because of it."

"This is the Eighth Sign: You will see many youth, who wear their hair long like my people, come and join the tribal nations, to learn their ways and wisdom.

"And this is the Ninth and Last Sign: You will hear of a dwelling-place in the heavens, above the earth, that shall fall with a great crash. It will appear as a blue star. Very soon after this, the ceremonies of my people will cease."

"These are the Signs that great destruction is coming. The world shall rock to and fro. The white man will battle against other people in other lands -- with those who possessed the first light of wisdom. There will be many columns of smoke and fire such as White Feather has seen the white man make in the deserts not far from here. Only those which come will cause disease and a great dying. Many of my people, understanding the prophecies, shall be safe. Those who stay and live in the places of my people also shall be safe. Then there will be much to rebuild. And soon -- very soon afterward -- Pahana will return. He shall bring with him the dawn of the Fifth World. He shall plant the seeds of his wisdom in their hearts. Even now the seeds are being planted. These shall smooth the way to the Emergence into the Fifth World."

Growing Sustainable Infrastructure

At this point in my life I am interested in sustainability and sound infrastructure. To that end I am engaged in several ongoing projects.

The first is LittleFoot, my low-tech homestead in Trinity County. On 4.4 remote wooded acres, with only a single one-room cabin, LittleFoot is as simple as simple gets. My motto: Simple doesn't break. So, no utilities or plumbing at the homestead. Rooftop rainwater catchment and water tanks are on the drawing board, as well as a treehouse, fenced garden, and an additional road and building pad. Everything up there - the cabin and the furniture in it, even the land itself - was bought at bargain basement prices or obtained for free.

The second project is an orchard at my parent's place. Fencing has begun, with fruit trees forthcoming. Avocado trees, a walnut tree, a fig tree and apple trees are all on the wish list. I am pushing my parents to eventually add chickens, milk goats and rabbits.

The third project is my pickup truck. I have placed a deposit with a local garage to get a high performance K&N air filter and a Magnaflow cat-back exhaust system installed on it. These two gizmos will increase power and fuel economy, while reducing emissions.

In addition, I have purchased a rice cooker, a juicer and a food dehydrator in the last 6 months, and these three machines all make significant contributions towards greater health and self-reliance.

More to come†

Hoodwinked

I'm reading John Perkin's latest book, Hoodwinked. I have to hand it to him, he is a commensurate writer: Articulate, focused and interesting. There is no filler in his books, they are simply fact, followed by logical insight. He articulates many of my own intuitions about the current socioeconomic state of the world. I must admit that I have long felt that John Perkins is a rather creepy individual, very possibly a sociopath, judging from his own descriptions of his life as an Economic Hit Man. He exudes that pale, reptilian whiteness that CIA operatives and Bushes and Cheneys exude. I myself find that vibration to be particularly repellent. However, I now have to admit that, sociopath or not, he writes what he does out of conscience and goodwill. He seems to be a Dark Lord who decided to step out of the Darkness and come clean, and for that he deserves kudos.

Happiness Is A Cooked Puppy

The (Long) Road

Well, The Road sets a new precedent for the post-apocalyptic genre. The previous precedent was set by the high-energy The Road Warrior, which has been the be-all and end-all of post-apocalyptic films for the past 25 years. But now we've achieved a new level of realism and grimness. What most struck me about The Road was the astounding visual clarity of the cinematography. The vision of a devastated world was so expansive that I actually found it beautiful, even breath-taking. Which reduced the depressive aspects of the film (which are all-pervasive and found in every scene). Kudos to Robert Duvall, whose role as a heart-wrenching Old Man deserves an Oscar nomination, and to Guy Pearce, whose role as a Good Man is bar-none awesome (if brief). Also, kudos to Michael K Williams, as The Thief, for his creepy, haunted, knife-wielding countenance. The Boy, Kodi Smit-McPhee, is cute and likable, if somewhat squeaky and effeminate. Overall, the acting is top-notch. I give this cinematic masterpiece an A-. Check it out, if you want to know why I'm a hippie survivalist†

Beer Me

The Current Fantasy

I find myself trying to design a simple, permanent shelter that requires no utilities or grid input to function, while utilizing a structural design that maximizes utility, energy and thrift. So far the concept has evolved into a simple, one-piece ceramic dome. The roof funnels rainwater into integral tanks. Fireplaces and chimneys are built into the structure, as are skylights. Perhaps solar panels can be integrated into the roof. Perhaps the structure can be buried to a certain depth, or have dirt mounded on its sides, for camouflage and/or thermal mass. The idea here is that you can live in this structure as-is, ie: primitively, or you can outfit it with any degree of modern amenities. The real question is: Would people choose to live in such a structure hundreds of years in the low-tech, post-apocalyptic future, or would they shun it to live elsewhere? I pose the question because to me, a cliff cave is one of the most advantageous dwellings, and if I had the means to live in one, I would do so, even now. The age of the cave itself is not really a factor - if it is intact, all you really have to do is clean it up, bless it, and move in. Thus I envision the ceramic dome as filling the same niche as a cave dwelling.

The Vacation Dome

If I had a billion dollars, I would have a private vacation dome constructed at a secret remote location in Nevada. The Dome would contain a reproduction of a piece of Joshua Tree National Park. Rolling terrain with Joshua Trees, washes and rocks would culminate in a large rockpile. The Rockpile would have many special features: Running streams with waterfalls and different pools for swimming and hot-tubbing, "natural" caves, verandas and campsites, and an elaborate tunnel system. Some of the tunnels would resemble "man-made" passages and lead to "forgotten" bunkers. Deep inside the rockpile there would be a lounge complete with modern amenities such as a wet bar, movie theater, billiards table, mini-casino, single-lane bowling alley, cafe and luxury mini-hotel sleeping quarters. On the far side of the dome there would be an idyllic beach opening onto a miniature ocean complete with surfable waves and an island. The Dome would be constructed in such a way that I would have to spend a full year exploring it in my off-hours in order to discover all of its secrets. It would be capable of creating its own cyclical day and night, as well as its own weather, including rain, lightning storms, and wind, which could be controlled or set for random/cyclical variations. Streams could be turned on or off at will, changing landscapes. The dome would also double as a hardened, self-contained shelter from societal chaos and disasters†

Gobble Gobble

A fearless wild turkey has taken up residence in the small strip of urban forest a few blocks away at Piedmont Ave and Pleasant Valley Road. I can't imagine what it eats. It pays absolutely no attention to cars as it leisurely wanders across the street. Apparently it wandered over from the cemetery. It's been there for 3 weeks.

Stuff

* At the beginning of August I weighed 210. It's November 9th and I just pooped and now I weigh 190. No dieting - just eating organic, real, living foods (no sugar, flour or processed crap).
* I thought this was funny: A woman on a dating site sent me a flirt. The first thing I saw on her profile was: "In Search Of Intelligent Life. I DO NOT DATE ANYONE WITH FACE HAIR." So I responded to her flirt with the message: "As my photo indicates, I have facial hair." Her response: "yes but you have long hair and you like zombies i just wrote that on my profile because i don't like the santa beards". Ha ha ha!
* I dreamed about Windy Hill last night. Dang, that beautiful feeling has haunted me all day long. Man oh man, I have some good memories of that place. But it is the dreams that are the best. I wish I could live in those free, dark dreams.
* I took a class on acorns yesterday. We processed them, cooked them and ate them. Further experimentation is required, but the thing to remember is that acorns from White Oaks have very little tanic acid, and thus require very little leaching. That is important if you want to expedite the acorn process.
* I like simple solutions: Yoga, meditation, live foods, vegetable juice, Littlefoot, Shadow, Zoom.
* Flying is the best part of dreams. Flying amongst the trees in the forest.
* Gotta go juice up some kale. Bye!

Minor Health Miracles, cont.

Last month I went thru a 2-week phase where I ate a lot of carrots, and lo and behold, my vision got very, sparkling clear. It was cool and I want more of it, so I'm going for it again - 2 organic carrots every day, and I'll let you know when that sparklevision returns.

And then also, I have suffered from dandruff for my entire adult life. I quit using commercial shampoo and conditioner 2 weeks ago, and the day -- the DAY -- I switched to baking soda and vinegar, I stopped having dandruff. Holy shit!

*I would quit using toothpaste, but I have some Toms of Maine that I may as well use. When its gone, I'll switch to baking soda and salt.

*I have begun to do some very basic yoga stretches each day. They are known as the Five Rites, and I'll keep you posted.

*I have begun meditating every day. It's so nice to get in touch with some inner peace.

Me and David, back in the day.
The first beers were the best.

Thank God For That

Stuff

*Mad Max IV: Fury Road is in pre-production in Sydney, Australia. It will take a year just to build the vehicles, which, though pieced together from old wrecks, must be both safe and high-performance due to the stunts that will be performed. Filming will take 50 weeks - an unprecedented length of time. The budget may reach $100 million. The story takes place a few years after Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. A 5-minute on-set interview with director George Miller, as well as 2 photos of movie vehicles (the V8 Interceptor is pictured above), can be found online. Mel Gibson will not star in this movie. The two main leads have been cast: Tom Hardy as Max Rockatansky, and Charlize Theron as the female lead. Filming begins August 2010.

*I've lost almost 20 pounds now, as I continue to experiment with an organic, high-nutrient diet.

*Some cool cat left London and moved to the British countryside, where he spent 3 weeks building a treehouse that he will live in for 6 months while living off the land. He spends about US$15 a week on purchases including ammo and paraffin, and hunts squirrels with a double barrel shotgun. Can't wait to read the book he's writing about the experience.

*Clocks "fall back" tonight.

*Happy Halloween!

LittleFoot

Had a fun and productive weekend at the homestead. In fact, there is now an official Friend of LittleFoot, who generously helped clear brush, and volunteered to join in future "work weekends". It was gratifying to have so much work done in so little time (two people appear to do more than twice the work of one person...if that makes any sense).

Projects for next Spring include:

• a Party Weekend
• delivery/installation of a roadside 2500 gallon water tank
• installation of a rain-catchment system for the cabin roof
• delivery/installation of a water tank for rain-catchment
• further clearing of forest undergrowth on the north side of the cabin
• renting an industrial grade wood chipper
• having a permitted burn
• cutting firewood

Long-term projects:

• build a loft in the cabin
• install a wood stove in the cabin
• fence off a garden
• build a treehouse

It's official: It takes 4.5 hours to drive to LittleFoot...food/rest/gas stops add on additional time.

The Age of the Dead

We live in the The Age of the Dead. Not in the George Romero "Dawn of the Dead" sense, but rather in the sense that we have lost touch with Nature, and in doing so have lost touch with our living roots. Western Civilization has spread across the globe, engulfing cultures everywhere in a wave of spiritless greed. We have built our society on machines and industrial technology. Machines are dead, and they produce dead things. They cannot synthesize life - at their best, they synthesize inorganic reproductions of organic things. The food we eat on a mass scale has been uniformly stripped of its nutritional value by machines - to the point that diseases such as cancer and heart disease are now accepted as normal, and are even anticipated and expected. Then when we fall prey to them, we rely on machines to fix us and artificially extend our life. We view the Earth - this planet which produced us - as a dead commodity to mine for riches. We are obsessed with the concept of "sanitizing", even as we pollute our world with inorganic trash of our own making.

This is one way of perceiving the world, but it is not the only way, nor is it a mature way. In truth, the Earth is alive and we are a part of its web of life. We can experience this, if we want to and if we try to. We CAN reconnect. We do this by changing our paradigm. CHANGE YOUR PARADIGM TODAY. START RIGHT NOW. How? By rekindling your sense of MYSTERY and ADVENTURE. Do whatever works for you. Eat real foods. Live in the wilderness. Meditate. Go on a zombie crawl. Commute by public transit. Garden. Read Carlos Castaneda. Live without money. Be homeless. Ride a bike. Get spiritual. Travel. Eat a fluffy cat. Pay off your debt. Talk to crazy people. Research UFO encounters. Watch 911 conspiracy videos. Set me up with your friend's hot friend. Ram your head thru a wall. Power your car with biodiesel. Subscribe to Fortean Times. Run from the law and don't get caught. Get high on expensive foreign herbs that turn your brain to jello. Fart outlandishly, publicly, violently. Fart again! Commit art. Break down your walls. Choose your own path. But refuse to live in The Age of the Dead. Don't be dead until you really die, and even then, do death YOUR way.

Now wake up, motherfucker.

LIVE.

Good Food

My favorite breakfast: Cold quinoa with unflavored goat's milk kefir and sprouted organic seeds on top. There is something about the combination of the soft quinoa with the liquid kefir and crunchy seeds, not to mention the combination of flavors, that is extremely satisfying. Need I mention that it's healthy? Oh - add a 1/4 - 1/2 cup finely chopped raw kale, cabbage and carrot on top also. Mmmmmm!

Minor Health Miracle

I restructured my diet about 3 months ago, cutting out wheat, flour, sugar, most red meat and processed foods, and replacing them with organic produce/vegetable juice, quinoa, raw dairy products including raw goats milk, and raw/live foods whenever possible. So far I have lost 15 pounds (down to 195 from 210). My gut is completely gone. The strangest aspect of this is that I never set out to lose weight or limit my calorie consumption, nor do I consider my new diet to be "dieting". My metabolism is simply functioning as it should. I eat eggs, raw cheese, whole milk, raw butter, and feel that these foods are extremely healthy and nourishing, BECAUSE of their calories and fat content.

My impetus for this dietary change? A statement made repeatedly by Penny Kelly in her book Robes: A Book of Coming Changes. "Manufactured food cannot sustain human life. It leads to sickness, disease and death." Ruminate on that one, folks.

The Proponent of Happiness

Last night I dreamt that General Petraeus of the United States Central Command was on a set in a vast government warehouse. Soldiers and technicians were crowded around the set, watching. He was in his digital BDUs, sitting in a Hummer. High-tech military hardware was strategically placed all around him. Kleig lights were blazing away, and the cameras began rolling. General Petreus looked out the window of his Hummer and said, loudly and with great force, "We keep building and buying more hi-tech equipment, thinking it will solve our problems." He got out of the car and strode out onto the bare set, looking directly into the camera. "I AM THE SOLUTION." I woke up a changed man.

Stuff

*Please read Penny Kelly's books, starting with Robes: A Book of Coming Changes. They rock. She rocks.

*Please read The SpiritWalker trilogy by whats-his-face. They are required reading. Do not hesitate. Buy them. Read them.

*Day 2 of the Juice Weasel Experiments, and I'm turning into a rocket-propelled vegetable. Drank 2 pints of deep green celery-tomato-leek-kale-cucumber-zucchini-carrot juice tonight...was as thick as a milkshake...I'm just about ready to jump to the moon. I'm expecting grass to sprout out of my face at any moment. Please be patient while I commune with my Inner Plant.

*On a health kick these days. Eating all organic food. Yogurt, live kraut, raw nuts, fruit, sprouted seeds, kefir, raw goats milk, raw veggies. Cut out wheat, sugar, red meat and most shit foods. Lost ten pounds, feeling more energetic, less blood sugar swings. 'Course I still drink coffee, eat out, drink beer and eat regular food. BUT, I'm 80% clean most of the time. Holy shit I'm ready to take on God. Oh yeah, been meditating a bit too. Kind of fun, brings back memories from my earlier days, when wonderful things happened when I closed my eyes.

*All Republicans should be spanked without mercy. Forever. By me.

*Got buzzed by a firefly today. Round and round he flew, me spinning in circles to watch. Made me think of JZ.

*Check out Inglourious Basterds and District Nine. Good oldies: Internal Affairs, Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead, The Dead Girl.

*Where to invest my hard-earned bucks? I have no idea. If I put them into STRIPS and foreign currency funds, they turn into electronic gibberish and I fear I'll lose them in the TV fuzz. But what is the point in having US dollars when they will probably be worthless soon? Hmmm...junk silver? Maybe. Oh yeah, and commodities that I need. I'll get my truck tuned up. Gotta stay generous, too. Never give that up. Cuz in the end, I plan to die naked, penniless and laughing. Gotta keep things in perspective.

Good night, amigos. Dream BIG. Dream well.

Personal Responsibility

The Age of Personal Responsibility has arrived along with the bankrupt US economy. It's up to us, the people, to start filling in the gaps left by the Federal, State and local governments. What can we do? Look around and see what needs doing. Is their trash on the street? Can the local park use a cleanup? Pitch in. If people ask you what you are doing, tell them you are rising to the challenge of living responsibly. And take responsibility for your own health, by which I mean, eat healthy foods and exercise. Refuse to fall into the health slump, which is only further bankrupting this nation. More later, of course.

Justice and the Law

The days keep blowing by, and I keep getting more Libertarian. We need to radically revamp our justice system. Drug laws need to be changed. We need to stop ruining the lives of people who commit nonviolent crimes. And yet, white collar crimes could use harsher punishments. Sex offenders should not be allowed on the streets. Kidnappers should not be allowed on the streets. I am not kidding. This current system is f*cked, people. Go on the Megan's Law website and take a look at all the sex offenders that live in your neighborhood. The day is coming when these people will be rounded up by citizen posses and taken off the streets. These offenders gave up their rights when they willfully committed their crimes. Come on, let's be clear here. Let's be responsible adults. The only way we can ever truly function as people and as a society is if we all take responsibility for our own lives and our own actions. Personal Responsibility. It's the operating platform we were always meant to function on. I'm ranting, but I'm upset because yesterday a woman walked into a local police station and explained that she was kidnapped 18 years ago, at the age of 11, and has been kept captive in a local house all that time...during which she had two children who were fathered by her abductor. It makes me ashamed to be a man, and ashamed to be an American, to hear this. The man who abducted her and held her captive as a sex slave for 18 years does not deserve an expensive trial. He deserves a brief hearing where the evidence is presented, and then he deserves something far, far less expensive than prison and/or Death Row. Someone should cap him before he reaches the police station. This tears me up, to see such injustice.

Zombie Haikus

Brains on the ceiling.
Brains on the floor. However,
No brains in my head.

Guns in the kitchen
and brains in my head. I'm not
a zombie yet, man.

Single-ought brainshot
Ought to knock the marbles off
A hungry zombie.

I may be loaded
for bear, but -- trust me! -- I'm real-
ly hunting zombies.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. Driving
Without headlights. Are those thumps
Speed bumps or zombies?

Chainsaw in one hand,
Morning Star in the other.
Dance with me, Zombie.

Managed to drive out
of Oaktown. Now I'm stalled in
A herd of zombies.

Zombies on the lawn.
Zombies on the porch. I fear
They will eat my brains.

Staggering, cold brains,
Screaming humans, my low moans:
I am a zombie.

More Cool Energy Sources

The treadmill is one of my favs. There is a drawing of a horse-powered treadmill in an old Sears catalog. A 1-horsepower engine, so-to-speak. The treadmill powers a belt which is attached to a driveshaft that runs across the ceiling of a workshop. All the power tools in the shop are hooked up to the drive shaft. No electricity required.

Steam engines can power the same above setup. So can PTOs on tractors.

Small-scale alcohol production. Why not use scrap organic matter to distill potent alcohol that can power an internal combustion engine or a fuel cell?

Wood gasification. One of my favs. You can use this technology to power modified internal combustion engines. This would be really useful in areas like the Pacific Northewest, which are heavily forested.

More on steam engines. A small 2-hp steam engine can be fired up every few days for a couple of hours to charge batteries, and the hot water generated will heat a house til you fire up the engine again. You can also farm your trees in such a way that you always have wood to burn and always have a forest and always sequester more CO2 than you emit.

Compressed Air Batteries

Batteries are necessary for storing energy. In particular, many alternative forms of energy are based on electricity, and thus batteries are crucial for storing energy which may have to be generated at one time, and used at a later time. I am talking solar, wind, tidal, hydro, etc. Unfortunately, chemical batteries are highly toxic and wear out over time. And so I am interested in alternatives to the chemical battery.

One alternative that exists and is in current production is the flywheel battery, which has limitations and so far finds its greatest success in providing Uninterrupted Power Supplies (UPS) in industrial settings. EG: If the electricity fails in an office, a flywheel battery can seamlessly kick in and provide emergency power while computer systems are securely shut down.

But the battery which I hold the highest hopes for is the compressed air battery. In a nutshell, the compressed air battery works like this: A power source forces air into a cylinder, where the compressed air remains stored indefinitely. When energy is required at a later time, the compressed air is released thru a turbine, thus generating electricity.

Now, note that this system does not have to use compressed air to function. It is the compression that is crucial, not the air. You could probably compress one of any number of fluids and/or gasses to achieve the same result. But for the sake of simplicity I will refer to this system as a compressed air battery.

Also, the compression could occur by different means. For instance, a solar panel could electrically power an air compressor. But conceivably, a wind turbine could mechanically compress air, thus negating the need to first generate electricity.

Furthermore, power could be generated from the compressed air both by generating electricity via a turbine, or by generating torque via mechanical pistons (once again bypassing the need to generate electricity).

Compressed air batteries could server different purposes. Smaller, portable cylinders could be used to power compressed air engines and small tools and compressed air vehicles (which already exist) and rifles (which also already exist). Larger, stationary batteries could power machine shops, electric appliances, computers, household lighting, etc.

Air could be compressed via power generated by PV panels, wind turbines, water turbines, human exertion, biodiesel, alcohol, fuel cells and horses.

My favorite systems are ones that utilize as much mechanical power -- and as little electrical power -- as possible. The reason being that every time you convert energy from one form to another, some of that energy is lost. So, the more direct the use, the more efficient the use (roughly, and theoretically -- at least to my mind). But also, mechanical systems are low-tek and thus, in a sense, simpler. I also wonder if mixing hi-tech materials such as metals built in a molecular foundry, and low-tek mechanics such as gears and rods, might produce superior energy systems.

Check it out: On the outback ranch of tomorrow, perhaps a horse will spend the morning walking on a treadmill, which will mechanically charge the compresed air cylinders on the work truck, which is powered by a compressed air engine.

I want to live on that ranch.

The Rise of the Great White Waves

The day is coming when the Earth will roll, and heal itself at last from the damage that humanity has inflicted upon it for the last 200 years. When that day comes, the seas will rise up and inundate the coasts across the world. The oceans will boil, and great, white waves will wipe the seaboards clean. Forests will fall, coastlines will be scoured away. Cities will drown. Lowlands will flood. The best house you can have on that day is a steel house built on a gimble, as Edgar Cayce once advised. And the best place your house can be on that day is high above the waterline, far from the coast. And the best skills you can have on that day are sound gardening skills, because when that day comes, money will have no more worth forevermore, the oil pipelines will burst for the last time, and nations and governments will cease to exist. The waves will wipe our slate clean. On that day, each of us will realize, at last, that man has never had dominion over nature, and never will.

The Earth is our Mother. The Earth reigns supreme. The Earth holds us in Her blue embrace, and we, as Her children, would be wise to remember our proper place.

Glimpse

We are in the future. I have not aged, but I am different. I am all sinew and bone, no fat, no softness, tough and wiry and tough and tough again. I am dark, almost black. A shadow. I carry an M4 and ammo packs and other strange weapons. I am walking down a dirt road, alone.

I am married, but I have not seen my wife in some time. I have young children, but I have not seen them in some time. I do not know my wife anymore, and she does not know me. Same with the children. But this is all OK, because the world has changed and it, too, is different. So we are all OK with our changed selves and the changed world. Maybe we sense this new world is better than the old. Maybe it is more vital and alive, and thus more real.

I have killed many men, but I am not troubled by this, not at all. The men I have killed were bad men - thugs, mercenaries, killers and fools. I'm not sure how I was able to kill all of them (there were so many), but somehow I move in circles not so different than their own. In fighting them I have become like them, and learned their skills, but I am not one of them. Nor will I ever be.

Food, or rather starvation, is not an issue for me. Strangely, I am well-fed, even alone on this dirt road. I carry a small flask -- a hi-tech machine -- on my person, and by filling it with dirt I am able to survive. This machine creates a highly nutritious substance that I eat. There are other, even more miraculous machines woven into my clothing and body, machines that perform tiny tasks which I can scarcely conceive of. But combined, these tiny motors and computers and monitors keep me energized and aware.

Gunshots and explosions and shouts. Smoke, thru the trees. I am running forward, M4 raised, wargoggles activated, charging toward the green tracers ahead.

The Trailcart

Wild! A human-powered dune buggy (something I've been dreaming of for some time). All it needs is a small power-assist motor, LED lights, and a storage rack behind the seat, and it's good to go! Allow the power-assist to charge via a small solar panel, and on downhills, as well as by cord, and it would be all the better. I think this machine has all-wheel drive. It's made in Germany and only 2 have been built, but I already want one. Wonder how much it weighs...

LittleFoot in Late July

LittleFoot was hot this past weekend - like, 98º-in-the-shade hot. And, at 3,700 feet, direct sunlight was unforgiving. Luckily, it is a deeply forested mountain range. We had fun. Found a swimming hole about 40 minutes away and spent Saturday drinking beer and swimming in cold mountain water. What I really liked was knowing how deep in the mountains we were -- how very far from the nearest town or city. That is a good feeling. The mosquitoes were heavy at the homestead, and my guests got buggered bad. I hadn't realized how bug-resistant I am. My first guests at the homestead - success.

I am eating organic quinoa, goats milk yogurt and toasted sunflower seeds. Damn, it is good. Guess I AM a hippie.

Strange VODKA Factoids

Word is that the quality of vodka has to do with how many times it's filtered. You can save money by buying cheap vodka and filtering it yourself thru coffee filters.

Am told that vodka is the purest of liquors. This is called Vodka Theory.

I once spent an evening in Las Vegas testing Vodka Theory by drinking only vodka drinks all evening. I drank a glass of water between each drink. Memory fades with time, but it seems that Vodka Theory proved itself true.

I like vodka & soda.

I want to go to Russia and drink vodka.

Stuff

I tested the Whammer Jammer. Gotta say I like it. It's a compact little bastard, even if it is too wide to be concealable. OK, so I made a mistake or two, and learned a lesson. First thing I did was fire my two bolts at a redwood round. At fifteen feet they penetrated 2 inches. And there they remain. One day I'll get around to digging them out, I suppose. Lesson: Don't fire arrows into solid wood; fire them into hay bales. I also fired two .38 rounds, and at 15 feet they stuck into solid redwood. They pried out no problem, and they tumbled in flight so that they impacted at odd angles, but I was still impressed. The bottom line is this: Crossbows are silent, powerful and way, way fun. And they look bad-ass.

Made plum jam the other night with two hotty femaliens. We picked roughly a full brown grocery bag of wild yellow/green plums, then proceeded to can 27 jars of jam. Quite satisfying, and good stuff.

Am contemplating starting up an East Bay Kitchen Garden Survivalist Tribe. The Peak Oil group I am part of is not floating my boat. I'm at the end of my tenure there. Uninspired on all fronts. Gotta do something more hands-on.

Hang tight, Hippie Survivalists! We will get our shit together and make this PowerDown happen the right way. Peace, love and bullets.

The Future Frontier Vehicle (FFV)

Ideas for the FFV:

The FFV is the 21st Century version of the Land Rover, designed to function on all terrains (from mud roads to crumbling superhighways), while sipping fuel.

It is hyperlightweight, built from some combination of aluminum, titanium, molecularly-fabricated stainless steel, polymer, ceramic and carbon fiber. Total weight not to exceed 500 lbs (If you're going to dream, dream BIG :-) ).

It is more of a powerplant platform, than a vehicle as we currently understand vehicles.

It is NOT built for speed, and it functions as a tractor.

It has the simplest possible design.

It functions as a wagon when/if necessary. It is so lightweight that it can be pushed by people, or pulled by horses, dogs, goats, etc. If fuel runs out, the powertrain can be removed to further lighten the vehicle.

There are several very simple powertrain options for this vehicle. Each can be installed or removed by someone with a minimum of mechanical knowledge, in a short amount of time. The basic powertrain consists of a generater, a battery pack, and one or more electric motors. One electric motor can be installed to power either the front or rear wheels, or two motors can be installed, for 4-wheel drive. Another option is to have the electric motors installed in the wheel hubs themselves. This way 1-to-4 motors can be in use at any time, depending on the energy and terrain requirements. If weight is a huge factor, some of the motors can be removed. A photovoltaic ragtop, and portable wind turbines, can be used to charge the battery pack. The battery pack can be expanded or decreased as needed.

Cruising speed for the FFV is significantly slower than we are used to, because optimal fuel efficiency is found at roughly 40 mph.

The FFV is an ongoing thought project. More to come later.

The Whammer Jammer

http://www.sportsmansguide.com/net/cb/whammer-jammer-crossbow.aspx?a=545280

Just unique enough to be my kind of weapon. A 150 lb-draw crossbow that functions as both a bolt chucker AND a sling that lobs .38 slugs. The slugs fit in storage holes in the frame (48-round capacity). This silent hi/low tek gizmo will compliment my atlatl and my Howdah Hunter, rounding out my Hippie Survivalist weapon collection.

Who Are Your Heroes?

Mad Max. Pancho Villa. Clyde Barrow. The Warsaw Ghetto fighters. The Aborigines. Native Americans. The Chechens. William Burroughs. Charles Bukowski. Diane Di Prima. Matt Dillon. Shadow. All wild/feral children. My baby sister. MSR. The Merry Pranksters. America.

Container Garden Update

Strawberries gave three rounds, but they are played out. Started pulling them up today. Trimmed the foliage way back on the earthbox tomatoes, and inside of 2 days some tomatoes are darkening. Time to buy 2 more half wine barrels. Gonna have a lot of free container space shortly. Next up: Plant potatoes, lettuce and Lambs Quarters. Also, gather acorns this Fall & experiment more with leeching and breadmaking.

Perception

1. America is not the Land of the Free. It is the Land of $. And $ can buy a lot. They can even buy narrow forms of freedom. But the backdrop behind America long ago became a backdrop of slavery, slavery to the $. The consumer masses are slaves to capitalism, corporations, corporate-run media, and the almighty $. We need to find ways to sidestep the capitalist paradigm, so that we can again live healthy lives. We need to remember that we don't need corporate consumerism in order to survive. We don't need the $, which in and of itself holds zero value. What we need in order to survive is: Healthy food, shelter, medicine and community. Our society has so limited our perception that we are brainwashed into thinking we are free, when we are not. Potential freedoms within the capitalist consumerist paradigm lie within a very narrow band of possibility, and this band is exclusively limited to the $.

2. The morality we are taught is largely free of any ties to a higher, ethical morality. We are taught to play by the rules, to make lots of money, to excel at text-book education, to be good worker consumer citizens, to do our homework, to pay our debts, to pay our taxes, to support our government, etc. Are any of these things inherently "good"? Is the student who excels at homework really better than the student who does not? Is the knowledge gained from textbooks real knowledge? Is working hard at a soul-less job really behavior we should put on a pedestal? Is accumulating $$$ and voluminous amounts of plastic, energy-sucking belongings an inherently intelligent thing to do? Is it wise to support our government when it behaves in ways which do not benefit the international community as a whole?

3. The multinational corporations are becoming increasingly evil with the passing decades. Chevron dumping billions of gallons of toxic waste into the Amazon in order to kill off the native peoples who would protest their intrusion onto their lands, multinationals gaining control of international water supplies so that they can profit from the world's poor and oppressed peoples, the Haliburtons and DynCorp's privatizing the military so that they can both A. act without regard for law, and B. rob the American taxpayers blind. One day our increasingly-ineffective governments will crumble past the point of any effectiveness whatsoever, and the Corporations will rise to rule the world. Their rule will be short - 5 to 50 years. The Battle of Armageddon will be the battle for the life of planet Earth itself: In the end it will come down to the People -- who wish to live -- versus the Corporations -- who wish to control, enslave and destroy in the name of greed and power. It will be a bitter war, without moral or ethical boundaries. But the Corporations WILL fall, once universal embargoes bring them to a standstill.

Stuff To Buy Before Hyperinflation Hits

A Kipor gasoline generator.

A non-electric grain mill, preferably a Country Living Grain Mill.

A wood-burning stove.

A Big Berkey gravity water filter.

A bicycle trailer.

?

Returning Dying Cities to Their Natural State

The US government is actually considering returning large parts of Flint, Michigan and other dying cities back to their natural state.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/financialcrisis/5516536/US-cities-may-have-to-be-bulldozed-in-order-to-survive.html

It's stranger than science fiction.

What the Future Holds

If you are interested in prophecies, predictions and visions of the future, I recommend a book called Robes: A Book of Coming Changes, by Penny Kelly. This book hits the nail on the head. In order to get into it, you may need to disregard the heavy New Age premise, which is that little men in brown robes showed Penny Kelly a series of images in 1980, and these images illuminated the future world she would one day live in. Myself, I am not interested in the HOW of the visions, merely the WHAT. And my, this book is packed with WHAT. Dare I say WELL over a hundred pages of detailed descriptions of the future of mankind and planet Earth. And since these visions were seen by Penny in 1980, we are now living in the midst of them. Yes, many of her prophecies have already come to fruition, and the seeds of many more are obviously germinating. This book may have a New Age premise, but it is no feel-good wet dream. If you are a Hippie Survivalist, you need to read it. It will sober you right up. It may induce you to drink to excess, but it will most certainly sober you right up.

Might I add that the one huge, glaring message I gleaned from this book was this: Learn how to grow your own food. Seriously. Start now. Don't mess around. Your life depends on it. It's for real this time around. A 90% human die-off warning is in effect for the 21st Century; the ship is foundering, and then it's going down.

More will be said about these visions in future postings.

The Tiniest 21st Century Potato Harvest

Behold my first potato harvest ever (with 2 strawbabies thrown in for dramatic effect). I think that potatoes are one of the key vegetables for food production, because they are very un-labor intensive, and they provide large amounts of carbs. I am going to focus on growing potatoes vertically in a half-wine barrel, as well as growing Lambs Quarters as a green (finally found seeds online) and the usual tomatoes in grow boxes, strawbabies and lettuces.

Spies Penetrate the US Electrical Grid

Super scary shit...

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/04/08/national/main4928223.shtml?tsp=1

It seems as though every 6 months or so I get particularly worried about the state of civilization. Currently, I am fearful that America may not be able to pull its way out of its current financial free-fall, and that our society may landslide into chaos. I also worry that even if we do pull ourselves out of this mess, we will create hyperinflation that may yet ruin us financially in another few years. And, too, the whole world may sink into Depression. I read an article yesterday in SFGate that described the current state of Dubai, and it rang my bell. Sounds as if the whole country is one giant and EMPTY shopping mall right now. Anyway, I scour my brain again and again thinking of ways I can personally address the today's economic climate. Right now, I am past the investment stage. My stocks are worthless and the US dollar may not have any long-term value. It's time for commodities to supplant savings. I am thinking about: canned food, .22 rounds, skills classes, gardening, reinvigorating bonds with other preparedness-minded people, and my land. Sigh.

More to come soon, I'm sure...

Poppa Bought A Supercharged Car

Shadow is very happy that her Poppa finally bought her the dream car she always wanted - a manual 2003 supercharged V-6 4x4 Nissan Desert Runner with only 50,000 miles on it. Poppa flew to Salt Lake City to buy it for her, then drove all the way back on I-80 in 2 days, testing the supercharger capabilities as necessary. Quite the fun drive, like flying a Leer Jet very, very close to the ground. Nothing is too good for Shadz!

Got back from Europe and decided to wash Shadow...she's much cleaner now.

A Functional Human-Powered Car!

Be sure to check out the videos!

http://www.humancar.com/overview.htm

LiteFoot

When I go up to my homestead, and I have to fire off a Cleveland Steamer? It's all about grabbing the rifle and the shovel and going off into the woods and digging a little grave and firing off that steamer and then shooting it so it dies a fast pleasant death, then covering it up afterwords. And that's what I like about LiteFoot (my homestead): It's simple. There's no infrastructure. You gotta fire an ass grenade at 3:00 in the morning? Go dig a grave. Thirsty? Better hope you packed the H2O, bro. Wanna chill? No worries mate - it's Chill Country up here. Anywhere will do. Set yourself down and crack that brewskie and relax into the forest. Morning beers are the best, too, and I don't know why. And I like pruning trees, and there are trees for as far as I can see, and they all need to be pruned.

You should buy some land and work it. Make sure it's far from the crowd, where the cops don't go.

*

Put your money up your butthole!

What I mean to say is, currency is doing badly right now. Word is that the Swiss franc is now sucking, and it's time to sell it. Not that I had any anyway. BUT, the Swiss franc is -- was -- the last stable currency, fer fuck sake. So, what to do with your bucks? A. You can stuff them up your butt. B. Or you can buy gold, silver, canned food & bullets. C. Or you can go travel while the dollar exchange rate rocks against the pound and the euro. Fuck yeah! Or shit, do it all, before the big TILT hits.

Somewhere South

I wanna live in a cave. Halfway up a rock cliff which no zombie can traverse. Being friends with the Eagles. Eating the little ground squirrels. Burning webs and sticks which fall from above, for heat in the inkblack night. Coyotes crawling 'round like hounds. Sitting in the fine dirt -- like sand -- in the shade of the overhang with the ruins of the ancients., i c no way this can b done, but still i want 2 do it. If U lived in OakTown, wouldn't you? What's stopping me is the gasoline for the journey south into the hot zone. .I always dream of electric cactus juice.

Wow!

2 websites for the off-grid frontiersman:

http://www.dwellingportably.com/

and

http://www.shedandshelter.com/

And the website for the zine Dwelling Portably:

http://www.microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/books/2336/

Useful East Bay Links

The Institute of Urban Homesteading offers classes on urban farming and food production:
http://www.sparkybeegirl.com/iuh.html

Urban Ore sells used building supplies, furniture, appliances, etc:
http://urbanore.ypguides.net/

The Crucible offers classes in welding, woodworking, blacksmithing, etc:
http://thecrucible.org/

Spiral Gardens Community Food Security Project is a beautiful urban neighborhood garden: http://www.spiralgardens.org/

Book Zoo is both a used bookstore and an underground cultural phenomenon: http://www.bookzoo.net/

Issues is a fantastic magazine shop that carries many underground/alternative architecture books and is run by the coolest couple ever: http://www.issuesshop.com/

Survival Investing

PUT YOUR EGGS IN MANY BASKETS.

Buy silver and gold. Both tangible bullion and online ishares. Buy silver bullion in the form of 1 oz silver rounds, and 90% silver coins. Buy gold in the form of Krugerrands, Pandas, Maple Leafs, Philharmonics, Koalas and/or Eagles. These government-minted coins generally come in 1 oz, 1/2 oz, 1/4 oz, 1/10th oz and (possibly) 1/20th oz denominations.

Invest some of your money in stocks. Choose these stocks very carefully. In the current economic climate, you might consider oil and energy stocks, gold mining stocks and mining stocks. You should be willing and able to sell these stocks at a moment's notice.

Set aside some savings in a savings account with a high interest rate. Choose your bank carefully. Check its rating on www.bankrate.com.

Set aside some savings in the form of cash. Include rolls of quarters, and 1s, 5s, 10s and 20 dollar bills. Keep this money split and stashed in several places. You might consider putting some in your BOB, some in your car and some in a safe or a secret hiding place. WHEN THE GRID GOES DOWN, YOUR ATM AND CREDIT CARDS WON'T WORK.

Buy tangibles: Guns, bullets, MREs, 30-year cans of freeze dried food, soap, seeds, land, a bicycle, hand tools, solar panels, camping gear, a dog, a cat, milk goats, chickens, etc.

Invest in skills. Take classes in gardening, primitive skills, survival, self-defense, gunsmithing, yoga, edible plant identification, carpentry, target shooting, nonviolent communication, bicycle repair, automotive maintenance, etc.

Pay off your debt.

Want professional advice for Peak Oil investing? Check out:
www.completeinvestor.com

There's A Black Angel At This Hippie Survivalist's Table

Shadow Cecilia -- aka Fluffy Girl -- is my daughter and my constant companion. I adopted her when she was still a kitten. It took me two months to tame her -- then I popped her in a cage and brought her home to my apartment, where she now resides. Shadow is an exceptional feline specimen: Jet black with yellow eyes and pointed ears and a wet nose, and quite fluffy. She wears the pants in our household, and if I act according to my own wishes and not hers, I pay the price. I must constantly remind here that WE DON'T SCRATCH THE PEOPLE WE LUV, WE LUV THE PEOPLE WE LUV! All the tomcats in the neighborhood are madly in luv with her, and I must drive them away with a broom to keep her honor -- and mine -- intact. This task never ends!

But I'm here to talk shop. You see, Shadz is a survivalist's wet dream of a pet. She's priceless. She provides eggs, milk, wool, security, warmth and stress-eliminating cuddles. Actually, she harbors special snugglebug powers which defy easy description. Sleeping with her is like sleeping with God. And woe to the unwary -- her claws are like shards of glass, and she's not afraid to use them. Her beserker personality ensures that any aggressive intruder -- and possibly even innocent old me! -- will be slashed to ribbons in mere seconds. So, I'm here to sell you on cats. Consider a cat a sound investment. And if you find her eggs too small, or her milk to meager, accrue a small herd of kittehs. All you have to do is water them and throw them each a half-cup of kibble a day, and they will surround you with their own special brand of abundance.

What Do You Do With Dead Zombies?

Tuesday May ?? 2019
We've been trapped inside this derelict Taco Hell fast food joint in Shitsberg for ten days now, and I've begun wiping my ass with my left hand and eating with my right. That just came naturally, after we ran out of TP about a week ago. Luckily, we still have plenty of canned food, H20 and ammo for our Big Guns. But that's all beside the point. The problem we're having is not with braining the zombies that crash through the boarded-up windows, it's what to do with them once we brain them. We've stacked them 8-high in front of the glass doors, and piled them up on the roof, but now the ceiling is bowed. We tried to burn some in the dumpster, but without gasoline they wouldn't catch fire. In case you don't know it, dead zombies smell REALLY bad and their slippery red brains get everywhere. I think we can survive this EOTW scenario, if only we can figure out how to dispose of all these dead zombies, and all their soon-to-be-dead undead friends who will soon have their brains smashed in.

Later…
Me and Jezebeth have been putting hairnets on the dead zombies, to keep their brains from greasing up the floor. It works like a charm. And if they have smashed hands we put gloves on them, to keep their brains from leaking out of their fingertips.

One time I put a hairnet on a live zombie BEFORE I smashed his head in. It didn't make a mess.

Later still…
Did I mention that some of the dead zombies in our little Taco Hellhole are pooping out of their necks? I probably did already.

Much later…
The zombies outside never stop moaning. We put wet taco wrappers in our ears, but it’s slowly driving us all mad.

Wednesday May ?? 2019
We are just SO FULL OF DEAD ZOMBIES in here! There is a tire shop across the way...we may have to make a run for it and set up new digs. Luckily, these are slow zombies, so we stand a good chance of successfully kung fu-ing and hockey-sticking our way thru the mob. Maybe if we make it to the tire shop we can lay tomorrow's dead zombies on top of piles of tires and nuke ‘em like that.

Thursday May ?? 2019
Our attempt at relocation failed catastrophically. Jimmy jumped the fence in the middle of the night and ‘jacked an abandoned squad car over on Fifth Street, but on the way back he accidentally blew it up while chucking a torch at a Stinker. There went our bugout vehicle. Jimmy burned his shoes off but made it back alive. Thank Gosh!

Later…
The space situation has become dire. There are dead zombies literally piled up in every nook and cranny of this fortified hellhole. We put napkins in our noses but it doesn’t really stop the smell. Everyone else is sleeping in hammocks. Me, I don’t have a hammock, so I have to sleep on a dead zombie each night.

Way later…
Me and Squeaky were manning the Big Guns, and Squeaky had an epiphany. Maybe we can eat the dead Stinks? It’d get rid of them, and keep us in protein at the same time. We ARE getting low on canned meat. If we can eat these buggers (did I say buggers, or burgers?), we can outlive them! But, will we turn into zombies if we eat them? Or, will we turn into zombies if we eat NOT-FULLY-COOKED zombies? There are risks. It’s late. My trigger finger is sore. Tomorrow we test.

Friday May ?? 2019
Day 13 in Taco Hell, and what do we have to show for it except our gaunt, haggard faces and two dead zombies more than there need to be?

Jezebeth forced the Chihuahua to eat a torched Stink limb at dawn. It turned, and Persepolis brained the bitch with a frying pan. We debated whether the meat was fully cooked, and decided it was only medium-rare, not medium-well. Then, Johnny Raj had the bright idea of slow-cooking a Stink finger all day long in a hot curry sauce with chickpeas, so that there wouldn’t be the slightest chance of undercooking, which we did. Johnny willfully ate the meat in the late afternoon. By dusk, he was moaning the Bhagavad Gita backwards, and trying to bust out of his restraints. He turned at sunset, and we brained him with a hockey stick by the light of the full moon.

We lost two really good troopers today. Actually, the Chihuahua was a pain in the ass if you want to know the truth (all Chihuahuas are), but Johnny Raj was stand-up. Seven of us remain.

Later…
Persepolis just had an idea. There’s oil in the fryers and in a waste barrel in the janitor’s closet, why not use it as an accelerant to make the dead Stinks burn?

Saturday May ?? 2019
Empenada oil works wonders...we've been burning zombies all day and night in the dumpster to great effect. Smells like French fries cooking! Also, Boris devised a flaming oil-filled burrito bomb that lights the live Stinks up like Tiki torches. We tossed a bunch off the roof and Dorito played Hells Bells on the boom box while we watched the flaming Stinks dance and shake.

Sunday May ?? 2019
Did you know that in this EOTW scenario I am actually bald, and my long hair is in fact a Spec-Ops wig that has saved my ass several times now when zombies reached thru the drive-thru window and grabbed my pony tail and merely pulled my wig off rather than pulling ME out thru the order-hole into their stinking, ghastly outstretched arms of revolting, painful horror and undeath?

There’s a lot of elbowroom in this Taco Hell now that we cleared the place of dead Stinkers!

Later…
Crawlers are the worst. When zombies loose their legs they are WAY more dangerous than regular Stinks. Crawlers sneak up on you and usually sink their teeth into your ankle before you even know they are there. Then begins your slow journey into madness, death and zombiehood. I personally saw this happen to Jocko Croft on the day we arrived at this Taco Hell, and I had to brain him with a brick and throw his carcass to the zombies, even though he and I went to college together, and both dated Zilla Fritz, and knew each other for eleven years.

Tuesday May ?? 2019
We ran out of fryer grease today. The dead Stinks are piling up again. The Big Guns are running dangerously low on ammo. Also, Boris got bit on the nuts by a Stinker last night, and Dorito had to knock his block off with a rock-filled sock.

Later…
The Big Guns both ran out of ammo within minutes of each other, enabling the zombie horde to storm our Alamo en masse…thank Gosh we all made it onto the roof intact, along with several cases of food and our remaining weapons and ammo. No water, though.

Much later...
Want to know what sucks? Trying to sleep on a dirty, crowded, sagging Taco Hell rooftop while you’re sucking on a tar-covered roof pebble to keep your thirst at bay AND you’re listening to the wailing and scratching of 439 hunger-crazed zombies beneath you.

Wednesday May ?? 2019
Good news is, it rained. Bad news is, it rained.

Later…
What to do with dead zombies? There aren't any ocean cliffs around here, so I can't lead the Stinks off a cliff like lemmings, to slowly decompose in the salty brine. But, imaginationally speaking, if I were to mount a war stallion and lead a herd of zombies off, say, the top level of a parking garage, I could then pour soydiesel on their smooshed remains and set them alight, or, perhaps, throw dynamite on them and blow them to smithereens. At least, these are possibilities. It gives me hope, writing this. Thank Gosh this is an EOTW scenario with slow zombies!

Laterer…
Toying with the idea of a brain-on-a-stick, a Pied Piper-ish apparatus to lead zombies to their doom…

Much more later…
I did it. Tied a brain to a stick. We've been taunting the zombies all day by dangling the brain over the edge of the roof just out of reach of their rotting hands. It's sort of like a reverse piñata, works like a charm. Unfortunately, Jimmy lost his balance while playing, and fell onto the Stinkers, and they ate his heart and brains out, so now we have one less defender...BUT, Jezebeth managed to save the brain-on-a-stick :-).

Thursday May ?? 2019
Just when you think everything sucks so bad it can’t suck any worse, it gets suckier. Like, try maintaining your dignity while crapping off the side of a small rooftop, in the rain, with five other people watching you, and fifty disgusting zombie hands reaching for your butt the whole time. And then, having to wipe with your left hand – HAND – because there’s no TP. And then, washing your hand with your own pee-pee because there’s no water. At least the pee-pee was warm. I’m sorry I had to write this, but it’s the truth, and writing it helps keep me sane, SHMG.

?? ?? ?? 2019
No water for 2 days now. Dang, we’re thirsty.

?? ?? ?? 2019
We took back the Alamo. Dropped down thru the access hole into the kitchen with all our weapons, and spent 20 minutes frenetically blowing heads off and bashing brains in. We ran out of water days ago, so we had to. Now we’re out of ammo, down to hockey sticks and bricks. This place is flowing with blood and guts. We stacked the dead zombies two-thick and nine-high all along the windows and doors. Thank Gosh the faucets are still working – we were all badly dehydrated. But without any ammo, we can’t hold out long.

Later…
Lost track of what day it is.

?? ?? ?? 2019
The history of the Zombie Wars will be written in the very brain juice of the Stinks themselves, with mine own middle finger, which I shall use as a veritable "Fuck You" stylus, on the lead-painted and blood-splattered cinderblock walls of this Taco Hell Alamo where Humanity -- me, Persepolis, Squeaky, Jezebeth and Dorito -- makes its Final Stand (in this particular EOTW scenario).

?? ?? ?? 2019
No idea what day it is. We busted out of Taco Hell with our last cans of food, and brained our way across the street, into the tire shop. We’re barricaded in here now, with much more room than we had in the Hellhole. We all made it. Not much food, but the sink works, thank Gosh.

Later…
We lost the brain-on-a-stick in the fight to get here.

?? ?? ?? 2019
We’ve been resting for the past few days. This garage is so secure that the Stinks can’t break in. Last night Dorito and Squeaky stole across the rooftops to the market at the end of the block, and managed to bring back enough food for a meal, and TP. TP! We feasted on crackers and ham and Twinkies. It’s nice to eat with both hands again.

?? ?? ?? 2019
There isn’t any electricity in here, of course. It went out weeks ago. But there’s a big electric truck, one of these Fjord F350s with picket sides and a quad cab. Dorito says it would make an excellent fortified wagon, if only we had stallions to pull it with.

Later…
Persepolis had another bright idea. Squeaky and Dorito are lightening the truck up by removing its motor and batteries. We tied another brain to a stick.

?? ?? ?? 2019
Goodbye, Shitsberg! We did it. No time for all the details, but we hitched a 12-pack of zombies to the front of our truck, and hung the brain-on-a-stick in front of them, and they are hauling our tired asses into the stink and gloom right now, towards a far-off better place called San Diego, where we hope to commandeer a derelict yacht and float to some untainted tropical paradise island that still has hot, nude, bi sunbather chicks on it, so we can live out the rest of our days fishing and fucking on the sun-warmed beach.

Who needs dead zombies, anyway? Leave them undead and make them do the shit-work for you.

Later…
If you don’t hear from me again, it means I either got brained en route, or we made it†

My Balls

Sometimes I wake up and I don't feel like a hippie at all. I just wanna kill, goddammit. I want bacon and eggs and a river of hot blood for breakfast. This is something that chicks are never gonna get. Cuz it's my balls that make me feel that way. And chicks don't have balls. Chicks are never gonna get the gun thing, either. Shit, I can eat salad til the tofu crawls home, and talk about cooking and knitting til I'm blue in the balls...but that doesn't make my balls magically disappear now, does it? So ladies, please try to understand that GUNS AND MOTORCYCLES ARE THE RESULT OF BALL ENERGY, and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it, except maybe shave my balls. And for Christ's sake serve me a steak, will ya? A salad isn't food, it's grass with sauce on top!

Strange Factoids from the Freak Farm

Did you know?

We are told that farm animals are poor protein converters. That we put far more corn protein into a cow than we get out as meat. That we'd be better off not eating beef at all, but rather just eating the corn itself, because that corn would feed more people. BUT...cows are grass-eating animals. They do not naturally eat corn. COWS RAISED ON GRASS DO NOT REQUIRE ANY CORN PROTEIN. The cows convert the grass - which is indigestible to humans -- into protein. Allowing us to ALSO grow that feed corn, and eat it all ourselves.

Did you know?

We are told that there are only two sources of Omega 3 fatty acids -- fish oil and flax seed oil. BUT...GRASS-FED BEEF ALSO CONTAINS OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDS.

How to Increase Your Fuel Efficiency By 12x

Dmitri Orlov summed it up at Fort Mason last night when he said, "You know how you increase gas mileage by 12x? Not by buying a new car that gets better gas mileage! You do it by putting 12 passengers in the back of your truck and driving 25 mph down the highway!"

Revolutionary words.

Primitive Skills

I urge you to take primitive skills classes. Learn to make cord out of plant fiber. Learn to identify edible and useful local plants. Learn to make fire with sticks and stones. Become proficient at making shelters. These skills are enormously fun and useful. They are the baseline for all survival skills, IMHO. You can go online and find schools all over the United States that will teach you these things. I have taken courses at Headwaters Outdoor School, in both Shasta and Santa Cruz. Those were wonderful experiences. There is also a school in Northern Arizona called Ancient Pathways that I would like to check out. It offers walkabouts in the wilds of Bluff, Utah: http://apathways.com/

Firearms and Hand Weapons Are BOTH Part of A Balanced Hippie Survivalist Diet

Modern survivalists worship at the altar of the firearm, and that doesn't rub me in all the right places. In fact, it makes my nuts itch. Guns -- like tattoos and crack cocaine -- are addictive. They make voluminous amounts of noise, and need to be reloaded. They jam. They waste -- and run out of -- ammunition. They blind you at night. They weigh you down, and impede your movements. So, while I agree that firearms are indispensable, I am also an advocate of hand weapons. By which I mean knives, clubs, bows & arrows, crossbows, tomahawks, spears and all those other cool primitive/medieval tools of death, which -- LIKE FIREARMS -- can be used in the gleeful pursuit of offense, defense and meat procurement. In MY Tribe, each fighter will carry a firearm, a hand weapon, and a knife (and btw, big knives are not usually necessary - high carbon steel Mora's work just fine).

God's Own Survival Website

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Tribes & Villages

The Tribe is the perfect societal construct for life after TSHTF. Its flexibility is its strength. Elders are revered for their wisdom, which is derived from their long life experiences. Children are raised semi-communally. Families are interdependent. Each person is part of the whole, and knows that that is where strength lies. The Children of the Tribe are semi-wild, but not barbaric. They learn to be useful at a young age, and grow to be resourceful, conscientious and, when necessary, fierce. They are protective of their own. The Children of the Tribe are their own tribe, in miniature. They spend a good deal of time away from the adults, teaching and looking after one another, and learning the ways of the land. They hunt, play, forage, garden, read, learn to cook and use weapons, tame wild animals into pets. They are responsible. They are not afraid, and, when pressed, will stand their ground and not back down.

The Tribe lives in the Village, which consists of simple, fortified structures spread across the forest. Every member of the Tribe is armed at all times, and sentries are always posted. When the Enemy attacks, the members of the Tribe stand their ground, or melt back, as necessary. They can blow up parts of the Village if needed. They operate in independent cells. They can flee the Village altogether. The Village itself is not necessary, it merely provides a framework for productive day-to-day life.

Oh, shit, gotta run: The cat's on fire! More though, soon.

Howdah: The Promise and Peril of the World's Most Badass Hippie Firearm

I clutch in my gray mandibles a Pedersoli Howdah. What is it, you ask? Well, take a look: It's a double barrel 20 gauge muzzle-loading pistol shotgun. Looks just like Mad Max's pistol, only it has hammers, and the barrels don't break. It was made in Italy (and well-made, I might add), purchased over the internet, and resides in California. All perfectly legal. It's an ass-kicker of a weapon, perfect for protecting the home or the car while TS is HTF. Keep it on the couch next to you while you watch the tube at night. When those two junkie motherfucks from four houses down kick your front door in, you just grab'n'shoot - aiming is not required. Barrel number one blows yon punk off his feet and sets him down near the bay window with a belly full of BBs. Barrel number two hits the second idiot in the chest, and the ball-and-pellet combo kills him inside of two seconds. He's dead before he hits the ground. And the Howdah can keep you company at night, too. Just be sure not to blow your own feet off when you fire it at the zombie sillouhette in the doorframe. And when society begins to crumble, the Howdah will make an excellent addition to your car. Gangbangers coming at you on foot from across the interestion? Roll down your window and say: BOOM BOOM. Then hit the gas and get away.

The beauty of the Howdah is that it defies easy definition. It is a Mad Max punk gun, a pirate pistol, and a work of art to behold and use. Loading it is a ritual. The accouterments - the powder flask, powder measure, patches and other required gear -- have a dated flair. It's a hippie gun because it's an artist's gun. Pedersoli offers three varieties for the consummate Defender: dual 20 gauge barrels, dual .50 caliber barrels, and a 20x50 combo. Howdah pistols were originally used by the British in nineteenth century India, to repel attacking tigers from the tops of elephants. Mine is a reproduction of a mid-1800's model. Gone missing for the last 150 years, the Howdah pistol appears to be back in style. Get one while you can.

Time Travel

The Hippie Survivalist was also known as The Time Travel Kid, because he mastered the art of time travel. It was something he learned from reading a book by a very (in)famous author. During his travels, The Kid figured out some of the rules of the road. Rule #1 was: Draw no conclusions from the road you are on. Drawing maps, however, is permitted. Rule #2 was: SUSPEND YOUR DISBELIEF. There were other rules, but we have to start somewhere. We'll get back this in the near future.

The Death Soldiers, Part II

I'm sorry to have brought up The Death Soldiers, but there is so much more to be said. I ran with them, several decades back, in a past life. That was quite a long time ago, now. It's funny, because, I ran with them, and fought with them, and died with them, but I was not one of them. And they knew that. But they did not care. They did not care at all. I saved them, and they saved me, and it all happened repeatedly, as we burned up that corduroy trunk road East, into infinity.

WOULD YOU HAVE PLAYED THE PIANO AND TOLD JOKES IN THE BACK OF THAT TROOP CARRIER ON RUSSIA'S WESTERN STEPPES IN DECEMBER 1943 WHILE STARVING TO DEATH IN THE ZERO-DEGREE BLOWING SNOW AND THE ENDLESS MISSILE BARRAGES? NO! YOU WOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR LIFE LIKE YOU WERE A CRAZED KILLER WITH A KNIFE IN EACH HAND AND ONE IN YOUR BACK! SO FUCK YOU, SHUT UP AND LISTEN!

Perhaps this blog is not about The Hippie Survivalist at all.

I fought with The Death Soldiers, and we were fearsome to behold. I did not wear a white skeleton mask, nor did I fire Deadly Electrified Death Darts. And I wore gray, not black. A commando, I was. I was never able to manifest myself out of thin air, nor could I stretch and distort my physical form. But as for the Cold Breath exercises.... I did not skin civilians alive, and eat their eyes, and leave their bones to freeze and die. But there were only two options: Fight, or die. So, I killed many, many men, and blew half a city into smoke and gravel. And would you believe? I was a hero to the soldiers around me.

These days, I am called the Hippie Survivalist. My soul is filled stars. Most of them are gold, but there is one Death Star inside me. The Death Dealers put it there, all those years ago. It's like a passport to their world, a peephole. We see each other, always. Watching, watching. But they still don't want to kill me, and I still don't know why. Maybe I'm the guy who's supposed to tell this story?

The Oracle Concerning The Death Soldiers

Do you understand where I'm going with this?

The Death Soldiers dress in black and wear skull face masks. They carry replica MP-40 submachine pistols that fire Deadly Electrified Death Darts. When they kill you, they will eat your face off and scrape your meat from your bones, leaving your cold skeleton to quiver and shiver to death. These guys are icy. And scary. They come from The Other Side. When they appear, they manifest out of thin air, making it very difficult to avoid them. Escape is impossible, unless you master the Cold Breath exercises, which will leave you absolutely BREATHLESS. But who has time for that? Anyway: It is said that The Death Soldiers were spawned from Hitler's spirit-testicles, which shot their little AWOL souls off into the Void when the Dark Lord was incinerated outside of his bunker. No one knows what date The Death Soldiers will rip thru into this dimension, and begin their Christ-crushing destruction spree. Such beings are mysterious and nefarious, and are not given to leaving trails in tea leaves. Death has no headlights. There is nothing else to say.

Guns

IMHO:

First, purchase an All-Weather Ruger 10/22. This is THE basic survival rifle -- inexpensive, capable of putting small game on the table and, in a pinch, able to protect you. 500 rounds of ammo will cost you less than 15 dollars.

Next, purchase a 12 gauge pump shotgun, preferably a Mossberg 590 or 590A1 Mariner. This is the weatherproof model. The world is full of voracious freaks, and one day these freaks may try to eat your hair and burn your feet off. Your trusty 12 gauge will surely bust their balls. You know this, whether you choose to admit it or not. Load your 12 gauge with buckshot.

Next, purchase an M-4 assault rifle (.223 caliber), or an M1A (.308 caliber) battle rifle. These guns will bag medium and large game, AND, they scare the socks off the zombie hordes. You can really kick out the jams with either rifle. The M-4 will feel and behave like a semi-auto submachine gun, and the M1A will deliver devastating penetrating power. Either of these rifles will turn you into a PLAYUH. Buy extra factory-made magazines.

Finally, purchase a semi-automatic pistol, preferably in .40 caliber. A stainless steel slide is a good option, specially if it is black. A polymer body is also a good idea, for further weather-proofing. I like compact pistols, but get whatever the fuck barrel length you want. One thing to remember: Your pistol is something you will carry with you everywhere you go, once TSHTF. Gotta take a midnight run to the shithouse? Pack your pistol. Gonna hit up Safeway for canned food? Pack iron. Gotta run down to the community garden to steal their shovel? Pack your fuckin' pistol. And load your Bad Boy with hollow point rounds.

Improve Your Gas Mileage – 5 Simple Tips

1. Get your lead foot off the gas pedal (save 5-10 MPG)

If you’re going over 55 miles per hour, slowing down increases fuel efficiency. On their test car (a Toyota Camry) Consumer Reports found that slowing down from 75 MPH to 65 MPH resulted in a 5 mile per gallon performance increase. Slowing down from 75 MPH to 55 MPH saved 10 miles per gallon!

2. Eliminate drag (save 6 MPG)

Engineers hate drag. Every piece of a car that sticks out (from the rear view mirrors to the radio antennae) reduces fuel efficiency and acceleration. The one thing engineers hate worse than drag is customers who modify the cars that they worked so hard on by adding more drag. That’s what happens whenever we attach a car-top carrier, clip a bike onto the spare wheel, or even tie a ribbon onto the antennae. All of these attachments hurt fuel efficiency more than most people realize. So now’s a good time to streamline your car - those truck balls aren’t fooling anybody, anyway.

3. Combine errands and keep your engine warm (save 4 MPG)

Combining errands saves gas in two ways - not only does it prevent driving over the same route again and again, but combining errands keeps your engine from cooling down. A warm engine is at the right temperature for optimally burning fuel. Parking in the sunlight can help to a limited extent, especially if “cold” is your hometown’s default temperature.

4. Maintain a steady pace (save 2-3 MPG)

Accelerating and decelerating constantly can take a real toll on your gas mileage. Going a steady pace makes inertia work in your favor, boosting gas mileage and also preventing unnecessary wear and tear. One of the easiest ways to set your pace is to use the cruise control. Also, try to accelerate gradually up to speed when entering the highway, and coast down to speed when using an exit.

5. Keep tires properly inflated (save 1.3 MPG)

When tire pressure gets low, the tire starts to sag like a limp balloon. This means that more of the tire comes in contact with the road, which, in turn, increases friction. Tires that are underinflated by 10 PSI rob cars of about 1.3 miles per gallon. If you’re not sure what pressure is the right pressure, check the floor well inside of the drivers door. On most cars, the ideal pressure is printed either there, or in the owner’s manual.

If you tally up the gas savings from all these steps, they total 24 miles per gallon. That can be a bit misleading though - each of the fuel saving calculations was done in isolation. Following all of the advice probably wont take your car’s gas mileage from 20 to 44 miles per gallon, but there aren’t many cars that can get 20 miles per gallon while making glaring mistakes.

The scary truth is that gas prices are rising, and there’s not much we can do to affect the price at the gas station. Don’t worry though - our European neighbors are happy to tell us that fuel prices in America are still relatively cheap. The only realistic way that we can cut down on gas related costs is to change our driving habits and use less fuel. Remember when gas only cost less than $3 a gallon? You can get there again, even if the pump is charging $4. Boosting fuel efficiency from 20 mpg to 30 mpg can cut your fuel bill by 33%! Start with the easy, effective steps and incorporate these 5 tips into your daily commute.


ALSO, if you want to experiment with putting acetone in your gas, check out this web page:

http://www.pureenergysystems.com/news/2005/03/17/6900069_Acetone/

What This Blog is About

There are 2 primary groups interested in surviving catastrophe in the contemporary United States -- the old-school, right-wing, Christian, Survivalist gun addicts; and the granola-eating, peace-loving, vegetarian, eco-villaging Peaknik Hippies. Neither group adequately addresses the issues at hand, and, in fact, Survivalists and Hippies are almost diametrically opposed in actions and ideologies. And yet, each side does offer valuable and unique perspectives to the survival-minded individual. As a Hippie Survivalist, I have one foot in each camp, but I belong to neither. Neither group provides me with the foundation I am looking for. This blog is an attempt to hijack the most constructive and realistic elements from each camp, and use them to create a practical "survivalist" ethos/website that will be of use to anyone, without regard to political/religious ideologies. Blog entries, fast fiction, humor, horror, book & equipment lists, and useful links are all par for the course.

Day 1

No idea what to say. Words fail me. Armed with a battery-powered electric chainsaw and a muzzle-loading pistol shotgun called a Howdah, I fight the zombie hordes by day. By night I write this blog. I am out of beer and cigarettes. My dinner is cold. Outside, the conservatives are getting eaten alive.