Monday, January 31, 2011

Diary of An Assault Vehicle

The year is 2017, and we've entered Troubled Times. People are hungry and jobs are scarce. Hyperinflation has gutted the economy. Gasoline costs $28 a gallon, and rationing is in effect. Crime is way, way up. Society is ripping apart at the seams. In some places there is no police presence. P fled to the ranch years ago, while I still commute to my city job. We both drive up-armored vehicles that can take abuse, and power thru hot spots, and get us from Point A to Point B whether on the highway or deep in the sticks. There is no other option.

Zoom, my trusty pickup truck, has been heavily modified over the years. When I first bought him back in 2009, I added a high performance K&N air filter (12 hp), an after-market cat-back exhaust system (8 hp), an aluminum tool box, and an R&B front winch bumper w/winch. And, I purposely bought his model & make because he had a factory-installed supercharger (30 hp).

Since then I've added 4 run-flat tires, a lift kit, and ballistic film to the inside of the windows & windshield. I had someone build and install an interior roll cage w/racing harnesses. Plate steel is welded to the front bumper, and the bed is lined with sandbags. The rear bumper, the spare tire, the hood and the rear windows have all been removed to reduce weight.

I am a very cautious driver and avoid trouble at all costs, but Oaktown is Oaktown. I have rammed cars with Zoom, and driven him over center dividers and across empty lots and soccer fields. I've outraced a chase vehicle in him, and he's taken gunfire.
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Now it's 2022. Things have gotten much worse. I still have my job, so I have cash -- I'm one of the lucky ones. But much of Oaktown has descended into total, impoverished lawlessness. The streets are dangerous, strewn with garbage and debris at the best of times, the scene of riots and shootouts at the worst of times.

Zoom has been further retrofitted. He now has headers in addition to his other engine augmentations (20 hp). The heavy sandbags have been removed from his bed, as has his heavy lift gate. They are no longer needed, because his cab has been armored with lightweight Kevlar shielding. His windshield is coated with a superstrength nano-polymer that makes it impervious to small-arms fire. His rear windows, their glass long removed, have been sealed off with heavy gauge wire mesh. He is painted urban camo. I carry gas grenades, a pepper spray pistol and a taser in the car with me. Gasoline costs $42 a gallon and Zoom gets 14 miles to the gallon. I still drive him, but not nearly as often as I used to.
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2028. I live up in TC now, out in the boonsticks at LittleFoot. Zoom is 25 years old. I've owned him for 19. I have put a fortune into him over the years.

Five years ago, when I moved up here, I had his old gasoline engine removed and replaced with a plug-in multi-fuel series hybrid. He now gets 100+ miles per gallon, and much of the time I drive him in electric "stealth" mode. His cab and engine compartment are armored with lightweight polymer shielding. All his windows are nano-coated and have built-in gun ports. His sides are dented and bullet-riddled from a hundred bad days. He's painted digital camo. Still has the ARB front winch bumper. I carry a short-barreled shotgun, pistols and grenades in the cab. There is no law up here in TC, none at all except what we co-ops and ranches make for ourselves. It's not safe to drive Zoom around without gunmen in the back and additional escort vehicles.
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Now it's 2035, and I am 67 years old. Holy shit how the world has changed. Los Angeles was evacuated in 2030 and the Bay Area has flooded from global warming, causing a huge influx of people into the mountains of TC. It's like the Wild West x 10, with thousands upon thousands of refugees staking claims all over the National Forest.

Last year I switched out Zoom's hybrid power plant for a Borden fuel cell, stuck in a low-gear, full-time 4wd transmission, and replaced his rotted-out bed with an aluminum flatbed. He hasn't seen pavement in years. He's got three coats of nano-armor on him, and airless tires. We mounted an old .50 cal in the bed, facing forward, and a 10 gauge Steeger ShotCanon behind it, facing backward, and he is the official workhorse for our local security force, the LittleFoot Lightning Bolts.

Together we move on down the road.


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